Six Things You Should Invest In Prior to the First Date
So You Think You’re Ready to Get Back Out There… Six Things You Should Invest In Prior to the First Date
Every day is a Fashion Show and the world is your runway”- Coco Chanel
So you’re finally ready to get back out there, and maybe even go on your first date post-divorce. Congrats! Mazel tov!!! Muchas felicidades!
I hate to say it ladies, but here’s the cold hard truth: Men will look at pretty things through their eyes, first! You’ve heard this saying a million times, and I subscribe to this as well. You only get one chance to make a great first impression! Let me repeat this: You only get 1 chance to make a great 1st impression!
And for the record, we women do it too, and that’s perfectly ok. Just saying. But this blog is about us making ourselves desirable to the opposite sex.
Men are fussy creatures, and while we never really know what they will become fixated on (hopefully not in a creepy way), there are a few things men will notice first in a woman. They are:
1) Eyes. They say eyes are the mirror to the soul and for good reason. You can captivate a man, or the United Nations for that matter, with your eyes. Make them stand out. This includes eyebrows.
2) Smile. This also includes your teeth and lips. A smile connotes a happy feeling. Men want to feel happy and they want a woman that will make them feel happy. We want that too. I am a huge “smiler” and always have been. The one thing I was always complemented on when I got back out there was my smile. There was not one man that didn’t make a positive comment on my smile, even if deep down inside I was counting the seconds to my impending departure- that definitely gave me something to smile about. Don’t be a sourpuss or look like one, unless he’s being a total tool. In which case you have total permission to get up and walk away with a great big smile on your face.
3) Hair. It should look clean and neat
4) Your attire. What you wear is equally as important as all of the above. How you present yourself is major. A nice outfit can show off or highlight the parts of your body you like, as well as hide those parts you’re not too crazy about. So dress to impress- NO sweats please, leave those at home as part of your home office attire.
5) Posture. This enhances confidence. Whether its standing up or sitting up tall and proud of the badass woman that you are.
6) Hands and feet. This is especially important if you talk with your hands (like I do) or if you wear open toe shoes.
7) Hygiene. If all of the above are met, then this is redundant.
With the above in mind, now comes the fun part…or what I call the Tough Love Part. Here’s where I give you my recommendations for doing what you should do prior to your first date. Below are my tips to making your date more memorable. I say this is because to some it may be a bit of tough love, and someone (other than your mom/best friend/child) has to tell you. But while I do it because I truly care, I’m also here to tell you that the good news is you don’t have to blow your budget on expensive items, such as red sole stilettos (unless you can, of course). Invest in the following (as far as your budget will allow) and I guarantee you’ll thank me later.
Fun part alert! So the big day (or date) is coming up, and before it arrives, I recommend you plan a “girls day” of shopping at the mall with your bestie(s) or one really good friend/daughter (preferably one who will keep it real). Unless your mom is your best friend, you may want to have her sit this one out, you know what I’m talking about. I find being in community to be so amazing. Then when you’re done, feel free to go out for some drinks to celebrate. Cheers!
However, if you choose, you can also do this alone. That’s perfectly ok too, there are no wrong options here, do what makes you feel more comfortable. My motto is: You do you, boo!!
Now, go shopping and again remember, invest in the whatever your budget allows (you don’t have to break the bank or worse, go into debt).
My list of absolutes:
1) Sexy black stilettos 👠 - Every wardrobe should have one of these. These should NOT be your work pumps. Make them a wee bit sexier. I am not a saying to go out and buy a pair of skinny heeled 6” stilettos, unless you can walk in them, of course (I can’t but God bless you if you can). Just make sure it’s something you would not typically wear to work.
If your first date does not involve dinner or dancing, but rather a coffee shop, park, or other open area, then invest in a nice pair of stylish flats that are comfortable but also nice to look at. Again, I would not recommend wearing your commuter flats or sneaks. You don’t want to show up in worn footwear. And reminder to leave the sweats at home.
2) Red lipstick - Red is a very powerful color and one that will ALWAYS make you feel empowered. I don’t know what it is about this color, but it is impactful. The mere act of putting it on penetrates your sense of confidence and competence. It changes how you feel and how people react to you. Psychologist, Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner said that “Red lipstick is the ultimate power color.” It’s also been associated with sexual arousal in men. When shopping for red lipstick, be sure to play with the shades, as no two reds are created equal. Make sure you find a shade that best matches your skin tone since red can go up and down the spectrum from blue-reds to yellow-reds and everything in between. “Never underestimate the power of a pair of heels and a little red lipstick” Life Travelled in Stilettos
3) Make-up in general - Now that we covered the power of red lipstick, we move on to make-up in general. And this is a hard one for me in particular, because I generally have not worn much make up in my younger years. But now that I am aging, gracefully if I may add, I find myself embracing the concept that make-up can completely change how you look (for the better) as it can hide some of our flaws as we age. And I am not saying you must wear thick layers of foundation. In fact, if I wear any foundation at all, it is usually very light. Make-up is a multi-billion dollar industry, with so many options, colors and formulations out there to accent and enhance our greatest features, while hiding some of those we prefer not to see as we age (can someone say “fine lines”). Playing with makeup and experimenting is fun. You can even make an appointment at one of the fancy and flirty cosmetic lines sold in the malls or stand alone kiosks. Some may charge a fee for the make-up application, but then you’ll not only get professional make-up advice and tips, but with some lines you may be able to keep some of the products they’re using on you. And of course, you can always buy whatever items you choose. But please don’t feel obligated to make any purchases, especially if you paid for the appointment (unless it’s part of the agreement- read the fine print, and if in doubt, ask).
4) A sexy dress - Big caveat- find a style that suits your body type, without letting it all hang out. Buy the girdle if needed. If your first date does not require a sexy dress, but if the date goes well, and eventually one will, you will ultimately need one. It’s better to shop for one when you’re not pressured to buy one. And with all the shopping choices out there, I’m sure you will find one that checks off all the boxes without breaking the bank.
5) Mani/pedi - This is a huge deal breaker for me. Trust me on this one. Men may not notice if you’re wearing designer shoes, but they’ll definitely notice chipped nail polish, or worse, bitten, dirty, gnarly nails.
6) Hair - This is another biggie. I’m not saying to go out and spend a fortune on your hair, but I highly recommend your hair look nice for your upcoming date. Whether it’s color, and/or cut, try to at least get a good blow job. If you can’t afford it, at the very least wash and style your hair at home. There are many different styling tools on the market today. Please don’t show up to a first date with unwashed, messy hair.
Make it a great girl’s day and have fun in the process! Sending you all my love! Cheers!