What is Self-Confidence and How Do You Gain It? 8 Tips That Will Help You

Hey beautiful people! Let's talk confidence, that magical superpower that makes you strut into a room like you own the place. Confidence isn't just about feeling good (although that's a pretty awesome perk), it's about believing in yourself and your abilities. It's the key to unlocking a life filled with success, happiness, and epic amounts of self-love. So, ditch the self-doubt and grab a metaphorical hammer, because we're about to smash that confidence monster into a million tiny pieces!

What exactly is this confidence beast, and why should we slay it? Confidence is believing in yourself, your skills, and your worth. It's knowing you can tackle challenges, dust yourself off after setbacks, and radiate pure awesomeness in the process. In fact, didn’t you just survive a divorce? People who rock high confidence tend to have better relationships, more success in their careers, and a general zest for life that's contagious (in a good way).

Confidence v. Insecurity – it’s important to know the difference!

• Confident people will celebrate others’ accomplishments, are open minded, optimistic, willing to take risks, can laugh at themselves, don’t sweat the small stuff, are willing to learn and grow, admit mistakes and take responsibility for their actions.

• While the characteristics of insecure people are jealousy of others, judging others, they are pessimistic, closed minded, afraid of change, hide their flaws, blame others, make excuses, and act like know-it-alls. If you see those traits in you, make a decision now to work on changing these behaviors.

Ready to trade in your self-doubt for a healthy dose of confidence? Let's get to it!

Tip #1: Ditch the Comparison Trap. Social media? More like social envy-machine, amirite? Everyone showcases their highlight reels, but trust me, nobody's life is a perfectly curated Instagram feed. Instead of comparing your Chapter 3 to someone else's sparkly Chapter 10, focus on your own amazing story. What are you good at? What makes you, YOU? Celebrate your strengths and quirks, because those are the things that make you shine!

Tip #2: Surround Yourself with Your Cheer Squad. Life's a journey, and it's so much more enjoyable when you've got a squad of supportive friends and family by your side. These are the people who lift you up, celebrate your wins (big and small!), and remind yourself of how incredible you are. Ditch the energy vampires and surround yourself with people who make you feel like you can conquer the world (because guess what? YOU CAN!).

Tip #3: Self-Care is Your Secret Weapon. You wouldn't drive a car on an empty tank, so why treat yourself any differently? Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial for building confidence. Eat healthy foods that nourish your body, get your sweat on with some exercise (I’m a spinner myself), meditate whenever you need a break from it all, take care of your personal hygiene, and don't underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.

Tip #4: Flip the Script on Your Inner Critic. That nagging voice in your head telling you you're not good enough? Hit it with a giant dose of positive self-talk! When a negative thought enters your mind, flip it as quickly as possible.  Repeat after me: "I am strong. I am capable. I am worthy of amazing things!" When you freeze and tell yourself “I can’t do this” rephrase this and say “I just have to try”.  Instead of saying “What if the answer is no, it’s always no”, say, “But what if it’s Yes this time”. Instead of saying “I can’t do anything right, I’m such a failure” say “Hmm, at least I tried and learned something new.” The more you bombard yourself with positivity, the more you'll start to believe it. And by the way, check out my site for some awesome affirmations to get you started!

Tip #5: Face Your Fears (and Slay Them!). Fear can be a real confidence killer, but here's the secret: it's usually just a big ol' bluff. Instead of letting fear hold you back, challenge yourself to face it head-on. Always wanted to ask out your crush? Do it! Nervous about giving that presentation at work? Take a deep breath and rock it! Even small victories over fear can give your confidence a major boost. When my friends say, “But what if  I fail,” I say, “But what if you succeed?” I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to practice it and it will become a positive feedback loop.

Tip #6: Play to Your Strengths. Doing things you're good at feels amazing, right? So, leverage your strengths! This will give you a sense of accomplishment and remind you of all the awesome things you CAN do.

Tip #7: The Power of No. We women are notorious for overextending ourselves (‍♀️guilty as charged!). But here's the thing: saying no isn't selfish, it's self-care. Learn to politely decline requests that will leave you drained and overwhelmed. Remember, taking care of yourself is essential for building unshakeable confidence.

Tip #8: Set Realistic Goals and Celebrate Every Win. Setting goals that are way out of reach is a recipe for discouragement. Instead, start small and work your way up. Crushing a mini-goal is a fantastic confidence booster, and it keeps you motivated to reach for bigger things. If your dream was to be a doctor, but you never finished your undergrad, then start by taking classes at your local college toward achieving that goal, baby steps. After all, finishing college is a huge accomplishment and remember, once you have your undergrad, you’ll be one step closer to achieving your dreams.

Remember, confidence is a journey, not a destination. Being more confident can be a game changer – it can lead to better and healthier relationships (with family, friends, and future partners), better performance at work or in life in general, resilience, openness to try new things.  There will be ups and downs, but that's totally normal. Failure can lead to lower self-esteem, but it’s only temporary.  Keep telling yourself- “This too shall pass”

It’s only when you give up that it becomes permanent! The key is to keep moving forward, celebrate your victories, and learn from your setbacks. With a little effort and these tips in your back pocket, you can conquer self-doubt and unleash the confident, fabulous you waiting to be discovered. The world needs your awesomeness! So, go forth, conquer your fears, and rock your life with unshakeable confidence. We're cheering you on every step of the way! Because remember, beautiful lady, you are capable of absolutely anything you set your mind to. Now, get out there and show the world what you're made of!

*Important note: if you have severe anxiety or depression, this can be a sign that there is something far deeper going on, and professional help may be the first step to overcoming this.